The Undistinguished Army Career
of Private Hein
When I terminated my story of how I became
a draftee, I used a little poetic license to say I was in the
army now. This wasn't entirely correct, but, I was definitely
in the clutches of the draft board.
On June 7th of 1945 I had to report to the draft board office
in downtown Seattle. At this office I was asked which branch
of the service I would prefer. Since I was a better than average ship fitter I hoped to go into the Seabees where I could use my
experience. The examiner then looked at my papers and there was
a big check mark on it. "Oh, you failed the color blind
test so you're in the army."
On the way to Fort Lewis, Washington I made friends with a young
man named Redman. He had been a radio operator in the Naval Reserve.
He was hoping to be a radio operator in the army.
At Fort Lewis we were giving a battery of tests, one of which
was a test in Morse code. We were given headphones and the letters
I.N.T. were sent into the phones. I couldn't separate any of
the letters and just put my pencil down.
After a few days we were put on a slow train to Fort Riley, Kansas,
which was the major cavalry fort in the U.S.
The second day we were there we went in to classification. I was
told I was to become a radio operator.
I said, "You have to be kidding." The man making the
assignment said, "You want to ride horses?" I said,
"I'm a radio operator." I lied, at the end of our radio
training. I was still on the slowest table, with no hopes of
ever getting off it.
Redman, the radio operator was put in a horse troop. Speaking
of horses, even though we were supposedly mechanized radio operators
we were still in a horse troop, so along with K.P. we were also
assigned to S.P - Stable Police.
I remember this one time I was on S.P. there was also a little
Irishman named Dolan from Chicago on the job with us. We had
cleaned all the stalls before lunch and had put fresh hay in all
the mangers. We then went home to the barracks for lunch. When
we returned there was a deposit under each of the horses.
Dolan said, "I'll kiss the derriere of any horse that hasn't
defecated". Editor's note - these are not the actual terms
he used.
We pushed and pushed but we couldn't get him to honor his vow.
The surrender of Japan occurred on the day we were to have gone
on the infiltration course so I never did have the thrill of crawling
under live machine gun fire. I didn't mind a bit.
One of our major disappointments was seeing the beautiful roasts
in the mess hall as we were leaving after lunch. They always
came out stew. Speaking of stew, I'll never forget the first
meal at Fort Riley. That afternoon we had our tetanus shot which
was about like being hit with a 2x4. We then went to dinner and,
of course, it was stew. In the middle of which they plopped a
piece of cake and then a half peach on it. Not my idea of a peach
shortcake.
Several other meals stand out in my memory. There was the day
the menu board said the meal was spring lamb. It looked good
and I asked for a good helping. It had been many years since
that sheep had been a spring lamb. Almost every bit went into
the garbage.
One other time, somehow, the cooks had got hold of a bunch of
filet mignons. You should have heard the troops complaining that
they weren't having the normal Sunday chicken.
After my total fizzle as a radio operator I volunteered for radio
repair school. Someplace I have a diploma that says I'm a radio
repairman. Don't you believe it.
Subsequently I was sent to Fort Ord in California and was eventually
ready for discharge. At a big formation the commanding general
at the fort came down the line talking to the soldiers. He asked
me why I wanted to get out of the army. I said I had a wife and
two children at home. I would have liked to have said, "You've
got to be kidding." You just didn't talk to generals like
that.